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Weird Civil War Words, Like Weirdsville Man!

4/24/2014

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The English language sure is a strange one isn't it. Especially when you mix it with words from other languages if ya know what I mean.
Duh!


Well, the U.S. Civil War had many such words that just make ya go to itching about what they meant. Of course it could just be lice that is making you itch or maybe you just don't wash enough. Could be you would get more dates or attention from your wife if ya washed. I bet you may even garner more friends if you showered daily and maybe used a little deodorant as well. You could even dress up a bit from the normal torn jeans and shirts with holes in them, then like me you may even stop bad habits like picking your nose in public plac..........ummm...anyways, here are some Civil War words that sure seem strange.


Abatis? Break it up into syllables. A Bait Is. Well, I know what a bait is. All depends on what yer fishin for. Could be worms, or leeches, or flies or just plain corn. I love corn on  the cob with a lot of butter and salt, but I digest. Sure enough it has nothing to do with fishin. It seems that it is a word for a bunch of felled trees with sharpened branches pointing towards the enemy. I don't know about you but I would have called it "A bunch of felled trees with sharpened branches, pointing towards the enemy." Sheesh!


Parrott Gun? Well, they seemed to have spelled this wrong. Parrot only has ONE t at the end. Is a gun that is used by a parrot all that scary? What, are the bullets the size of mustard seeds? Or... is it a gun that shoots parrots at you? Now that would be scary, seeing a feather flying parrot, beak first coming your way!! DUCK!! No actually PARROT!! So after doing some diligent research I found that it has nothing to do with a parrot bird! Seriously? It is a big cannon that has a unique look because of a reinforcing band of iron at its breech and it's named after its inventor Robert Parker PARROTT. Oh boy. Confusing I know.


Let's take one more example.


Cheval-de-Frise or chevaux-de-frise? Well, it sounds French to me and all I want to know is, what are the French doing in our private war?? Hmmm? One side or the other was going to lose and have to surrender and we didn't need the French to help, experts though they may be in that regard. (Brings up another Civil War couple of words, French Leave. Exactly! France....leave. Just leave. Please.)
Is this a finely done steak, some food with fries, or a mis-spelled wording of Chateau-de-frise, which means it is freezing at the Chateau. This word should come with it's own manual.


 So once again I sat down to hours of research in the French language and wouldn't you know it, the French came up with another word for a bunch of felled trees with sharpened branches pointing towards the enemy. Sure, sure they did a little more work with these trees as they took a log of the tree and and fixed spiked branches to it to and pointed them at the enemy. It comes from a French word for "horse from Friesland." I guess the Frisians (Who?) were the first to use this kind of defense. Wish it were land of the fries. Now I'm hungry!!


Well, enough of these language gymnastics!!! (Do I use the word well too much?) Well, I don't care!! So that's it for another....... FLANAGAN'S CORNEEEERRRRR!!


Disclaimer: There were no Frenchmen harmed in the making of this blog.








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Japanese Secret WW-II Weapon Discovered

4/13/2014

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Good thing the Japanese had not perfected their technology before we used the atomic bomb or things could have been much worse for the Allied forces.

Seen here in this just publicized, recently discovered World War Two photograph, is proof positive that the Japanese were onto something. The article I read (Which is still classified, I can't say more than that, but two words will give you a clue as to why...cement shoes! Nuff said.) that goes along with this photo stated that the guitar playing lizard was prototype model, Big Lizard 178. 

From what I can surmise from the top secret documents, is that BL 178, was a genetic experiment that went horribly array. Instead of a terrorizing lizard of immense proportions, that could emit fireballs that could sink the entire American Fleet, they came up with a model that sang Hawaiian music in the style of Don Ho. While a big hit with Japanese version of Gilligan's Island Skipper and Mary Ann, this weapon lacked the punch the Japanese military was looking for. Rumor had it that it was to be launched surreptitiously at American sailors, GI's and marines at back area USO shows with the intent of singing "Tiny Bubbles" over and over until our boys in uniform were in a hypnotic stupor, but the held to story is that the Japanese did not want to let this weapons program out of the bag at that time with hopes of protecting their secret. From what the US Intelligence agencies are now reporting,  a second baby prototype was being transported via submarine to a secret location to be grown to immense proportions using radiation technology. It is surmised that the submarine was sunk by US vessels near the deep Marianas Trench in the Pacific Ocean. Too bad. Well at least the program never back fired on the Japanese. For sure they saw the last of the Big Lizard 178 weapons program...........
Or did they???

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    Jamie Flanagan, Esquire

    Nothing fancy, just make sure to spell my name with 
    3 A's if ya please...

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